Wasn’t at university today, woke up like a wreck. Got some bad news from friends and some bad from the family :c So I just stayed at home and tried studying. Went bad. Now it is way to late to do anything. Let’s hope for an actual day tomorrow!

STAY HAPPY WOOO!
Good night!

BUT, I have to be a bit critical here. Now I am no language-er, but I am Scandinavian. The word “Vemödalen”, it really sounds like a word that someone who heard a couple of Scandinavian words jumbled together. It actually make no sense. The base, or the foundation of the word might be ok, but the form of it is not logical. If it would be a word in a good grammatical sense it would instead look something like “Vemöda” or “Vemöd”. And it pretty awkward to put umlauts on something when in your own language you don’t actually use them. So why even do it? The whole thing feels lazy and overly pretentious.

It is also pretty awkward since the word “vemod” is a word, it means sadness or melancholy in Swedish. It actually makes the foundation of the word “Vemödalen” ok, like I said. They just need to make it a  bit more “correct” so to speak.

Stuff is brewing. Mostly my hair!
I am also up waaay to late. I would be able to sleep, if I wanted to. But I can’t stop thinking about what I want to do! Every minute I think that I don’t want to waste this day… so I force myself to do stuff.

Yes. I know. Doing things while being this tired is like not doing things at all.

Now it is time to set the alarm and sleep…. I just have to listen to a podcast first, then update my “to watch list”, then wonder about the next “My weird music”-post, then eat something…. theeen sleep my anxiety away.

Well.

I’m still here.

I still have shit tonnes to do…

That shit is not going to get done anytime soon anyway.

Soooo

Good night!

~~☆

People often say that they would do so much, only if they had the time for it.
I’m going to let you in on a secret, time isn’t what they need. Time is only a tool in a greater scheme. It is needed for sure, but it is not the instigator for new things. What is more important is dedication, enthusiasm and some driving force. Time is not the starting point.

So to all of you I am hitting with this information. Please stop letting the excuse of lack of time hinder your dreams.

I did. So don’t be like me.

Until next time ~~

Today someone told me that darkness consumes us all, that light is running to fast for us to catch up with it.

Oh yeah, that was me.

Right now someone is lying in a sofa, in a dark room, with loud music on.

Oh yeah that is me.

Sometimes it is ok to be me!

Very often when I am running or exercising, I pass people wearing perfume (or very strong smelling deodorant). Very often they also have fashion-right stylish, trendy clothes. What happened to running in whatever you are comfortable in? Why do you have to look like you are going to a date?

Around ten years ago, you seldom saw people with trendy workout outfits. Sure there has always been workout outfits, but today it is so insanely prominent everywhere. It is actually very sad. People spend so much money for a specific item they use only for one thing. What happened to running in your slacks? And aren’t you supposed to exhaust yourself, sweat, get all red in the face, spit and talk incomprehensibly? Do you think that the perfume will make you smell better after all the sweat has mixed together with the perfume?

I don’t know.

Last time I ran I passed a bunch of these people, they all looked the same. So I had a small rant during my run. More than half of it disappeared of course, But whatever. I did something with it!

This actually makes me think if people actually are embarrassed to “look” exhausted, to look red in the face, to be sweaty, so much that they stop before they meet anyone they pass… or the other way around. Maybe they walk when there is no one there and then they start moving as soon as someone is close.

Please just don’t. If you exercise, you do it for yourself. Don’t care about anyone else.

See you around! ~~

I am not talking about everyday radio music. That sucks.
Music can be so much more than that. Of course it can be a legitimate “use” of music, to have it as an everyday escape from all the fuzz and stress and silence. (Silence is for another Monday though).
Music is life. Music moves. Music touches.

Do I need to elaborate more? Maybe I do.

Hmm.

Let me tell you a story then. The beginning of last year was terrible for me. I was stuck with a job I didn’t like and a private life that was really frustrating. I was getting nowhere. I was stressed, I had serious anxiety issues and was on the brink of depression. I even cried at work because I couldn’t stand it and I didn’t know what to do. I had to get some release and to feel safe somewhere. I couldn’t do that at work and I couldn’t do that at home. So during lunch breaks I walked for way longer than I should have, just walking. And when I got back to work I sometimes had to escape to the bathroom. The only place I could be alone. At home I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t rest and had chest pains most of the time. So yeah. It fucking sucked. And that is the short story.

Sure I had support from a few  good friends and my family. But for me, I didn’t really want to be annoying or to demanding of them. I have always been one of those who really try their best to solve all problems alone and try to be self sustaining. I didn’t want help from people (that is a story in it self, I’m not saying it is desirable). But the one thing that I had was music. It was my escape pod on a derelict space ship.

I used that a lot both at work and at home. At home it was mostly on high volume (sorry neighbors) and at work with a pair of serious headphones. It didn’t only help me escape for a moment to let me breathe. It also gave me inspiration at a time when I really needed it. So sure, It wasn’t the only thing that helped me out of my dark derelict space ship. But it sure was a catalyst.

So what did I listen to that helped me? Well. Without any further words I leave you with stuff that was prominent during this time. (I also watched a lot of Cosmos)